


I Wrote a Drarry Fic Drunk.

by poisonquin (saturated_sunrise)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cliche, Crack, F/F, F/M, Hogwarts Eighth Year, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, I'm so so sorry, M/M, Roommates, Unintelligible, i mfin spelled "draco" as "snaco" somewhere in here, it's so bad, like so drunk i can't spell, like so much crack i'm chillin in a stained hoodie outside a gas station type crack, like to be honest girl don't read this it's embarrassing, ronald reagan would hate me not just because i'm gay but also because of how much crack this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 08:12:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16260224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saturated_sunrise/pseuds/poisonquin
Summary: okay so ima keep it real w u chief i genuinely don't remember writing this but it was on my google docs this morning so here y'all gothere are nightmares and showers and insecurity and potions, but i was so faded i really did not explain any of these things as well as i thought i did cause the story's only a page long.im sorry this is pretty much unreadable, but it made me laugh.oh and there's also some anti-Rowling sentiment in here don't @ me





	I Wrote a Drarry Fic Drunk.

**Author's Note:**

> basically i got drunk and i guess was in my feels, and since I don't have any real person to be super in my feels about, I picked two fictional people. i think i tried to write my own cliché roommate 8th year bs because oh man I love that stuff but i failed miserably. i love these guys so much but wow am i bad at expressing it.
> 
> buckle up my dudes it's a bumpy ride, also i didn't realize how completely unintelligible this is i'm so sorry

I’ve been reading a lto of Drarry lately os here goes/

 

          Ever since the batter lof hogwarts Draco was quiet. HE was lerned to be quite becauee her was really guilt and studf because he’s actually deep down a good eprson. But nobody knows that. And ti’s eighter yar at hogwatys, gasp, and he is roomign with fucking HARRY POTTER because of couse he is. And harry is like, woah draco, fuck this bitch becssue voldemore lol but NOT becaeys he didn;t do anythig he was a scared child. So harry is not rrustful but draoc, is likem very hot and silvery hair and blonde eyes and damn harry is like damn. Becasu e ginny didnt work out because they wated to be friends and fater battle harry could not handle it.

          Harry says hello when draco comes in. becayes he is poite and nice. And draco is like hello.but QUIET  becaue he is sad kind of and ffeeels bad. Harry gives back the wand becaeu like, if we r living togtehr mighta s weell. An d draco is like hey maybe eh isnt so bad. And then draco, like sees harry in the shared ass shower or something bc the author is thirsty as fuck (and also is a slut for bottom!draco by the way). So harry is probably like, hung but ew let;s not talk about that now. And draco is like, fuck, boy who lived, more like boy who should pound my ass. Ew i didnt write that ew but yeah.

          Anyway Draco and harry are in the same potions class. And like, they are paired up by roommates? Or soemthing? Or maybe because they are advanced. Fcuking wahtver, i just want them to be together and happy. So they aremaming fucking AMORENTIA or hwat EVER the love potion is called, and they learn the DAnGERS. Even though they did in sixth year BEAR WITH ME, i am ignoring jk rowling bc let’s face it, she os a COWARD who won’t even let albus and scorpius fuck. And harry is like, “fuck me bro, like, i get so much of this shit in the mail that i’ve learned to steer clear of the smell of copper and like--” he blushes, and draco wonders what it couldbe that makes the chosen one blush. Probably like, the weasley girl’s smell, he thinks deriseivley, before correcting himself, no it’s ginny i should be nice, I guess. But then SOMEHOW harry mentions he is songle! Nad draco is like FUCK EM Up. but not bc shy and does not think hary would like him bc death eter.

          So they go back to herry’s room and also draco’s room haha shit i forgot i made them roommates that’s so good and like. There si some drama and arguing that i could think up if i a) was a better fic writer and b) wasn’t so drunk right now. But anyway, the shit that you degenerates all know and love happens: they fight oh maybe about like draco insecure & lashing otu and then they ANGRILY KISS. and then harry is like FUCK ur so pretty and draco is haha… i know… and like oh btw im very gay pls smaash me, and harry is like yo me too im bi, gladly. So then they smash, i’ll spare u the details even though u nasty fucks probably want nothing more than to hear them. I’ll give u a hint maybe someone’s dicl is sucked and it’s harry’s oof. And as in all these fics draco comes without his dick being touched (how??) and harry is soon 2 follow. It’s very romantic. And then, thye sleep in different beds.

          Adn then they are in potions, and it is awkward. They still havent really acknowledged it yet? But then afte rthey go back and harry’s like, yknow, my amortenia smells like you. No homo tho bro lol but of course it’s very homo and good. And he says it all bashful like. And snaco has like, a nightmare or something and harry’s like BItch what the FUCK. stop whimpering in ur sleep bro?? And draco is like osryy im scared from like, voldy and harry’s like bitch me 2 the FUck. It’s cute and then they have no sex but sleep in the same bed cuddled anyways.

          It’s cuyte. And then ron is like bitch wtf and goves draco the SHOEVL TALK and draco is like bitch don’t worry. I like him a lotl. And harry is like damn really bro? And also-- luna and ginny get together it’s beautiful. And so they all kiss ( in their separate couples) liem ron and herm are there too i hate when people say herm as a nickname when u have the perfectly good”’mione” roght there?? But anyways . they all live happily ever after the end which is more than I can say for canaon. Fuck jo she is a COWARD and fi she had just MADE SOMEONE in he rbooks canonically gay like IN THE STORY i would’nt be drunik writing this right notw.

**Author's Note:**

> what have we learned?  
> 1\. i apparently have some shit to say about JK Rowling  
> 2\. drunk me is a damn prude  
> 3\. ?? why did i think harry likes the smell of copper where did i gather this evidence  
> 3.5 i need to cite my sources.
> 
> sorry y'all i love u


End file.
